Mistress Tess My First Blog Post
As I sit on a plane, Thailand bound, I have plenty of time to reflect on my year and the roller-coaster ride of finding myself and getting to the place I am in today – at the beginning of my Dominatrix journey.
This time 18 months ago I didn’t really fully understand the title “Dominatrix”. I’d of said something along the lines of “A woman with a whip?” – how naive.
I mean, I have always been an assertive, independent, effervescent young woman. This has sometimes lead to me being misunderstood leading to social introversion. I’m a little like marmite; you either love it or hate it but either way it’s out there so accept it!
I probably would of labelled my powers over the male species mostly as control before now, before I discovered the word domination.
Control leads your mind to conjuring words such as boundaries, restriction, against will. But I’ve always been a seductress, seducing my way by manipulating male minds to my will, to dominate their thoughts using seduction and enchantment.
Now my introduction to the Femdom scene came in stages. I lost my job last summer and as a single woman with rent to pay I’ve always been resourceful with earning money. I’ve never worked just one job, or had just one skill. From decorating pebbles in nail varnish and gems aged 8 to sell to friends as collectors items for pennies up to any direct selling party plan company going i’ve always filled my spare time with something creative, to earn from, it would give me a buzz to earn from something I take enjoyment from doing. Which is just one of the many reasons my new title as Mistress feels so right, it feels like home.
So when I lost my job last summer I had been attending pole fitness classes in the gym for 3 years and a friend I met there was also working as a pole dancer at a gentlemen’s (which I find highly ironic as I think I met most types in those places whilst working, very few were gentlemen) club. She sorted me an audition and cue the next 6 months of my life.
I worked 2 evenings a week and my powers of seduction using my eyes, my prowess and of course my fabulous legs proved successful on the whole, but it was the few who thought that because I was using my sexuality to obtain a wage that I should be treated as only an object and after another warning from management for faceslapping a “gentleman” for attempting to touch me I decided it wasn’t for me.
During those 6 months, once a month they would host a fetish evening and after seeing a “colleague” paddle a guy’s ass until his cheeks were blue, I couldn’t help but grin and remember the thought that passed “If only we could do this for work every night.”
Whilst working at the club I was offered the opportunity to do a little modelling. I’ve always been a bit of an exhibitionist, I relished the idea of having photographic memories of myself at a time in my life where I am young and beautiful, to have those memories to look back on when I am old and grey. One of the first photographers I worked with had an obvious foot fetish and was extremely malleable once I removed my shoes, I used this to my advantage. He was a fountain of knowledge in terms of how best to promote myself and who to contact for work. He assisted in setting me up a Twitter page (I know right, 28 years old and never used Twitter!) and before long I had 11k followers.
Like all other models and adult industry workers I had a gift wishlist but one day I was tweeted by a “paypig” to tribute my beauty with a cash payment. This sounded awesome as I love money, would describe obtaining it a fetish of mine really. Just couldn’t help thinking “what’s the catch?” which led me to research the term paypig and shortly after the birth of my short and hollow time as a Financial Dominatrix. I took it seriously, I bought books, read blogs and articles. The “fuck you pay me” line was never my approach. Again I preferred the seduction method, posting regular “less is more” style photos, statuses of my daily expenses, promotion of my wishlists but it became all consuming. It is a dog eat dog society. After just a few short weeks I began camming with online submissives, slaves, paypigs. Those sessions involved anything from tease and denial, chastity (an adoration of mine), JOI, CBT, Anal Play, SPH and Humiliation.
I’d begun to fill the void Financial Domination housed, the camming allowed me to condense my online time, it moved me more away from the Findom scene and fired me full speed toward Femdom. I enjoyed it immensely and I’ve never looked back. Femdom brings with it a sense of community, understanding and respect – for the genuine players that is!
Now for those of you thinking, well she must of moved along because she wasn’t doing very well at it, not the case. At my prime with it, bearing in mind I was also working a full time job, I took at most £2.5k a month. It just wasn’t fulfilling, it lost it’s luke warm glow very swiftly and consumed next to all of my spare time.
So after a few short months of Findomme Tess Bella, Domina Mistress Tess was born.
I took the move to Dominatrix seriously (and still do) and I wanted to approach it professionally, safely, reputably. So I approached one of the UK’s top, very well established dominatrix’s whom I had admired and closely followed ever since I stumbled across her page during my research. Unfortunately she was unable to assist me in much other than some advice, to which I was / am extremely grateful for, due to her own plans for the remainder of the year.
At this point, except for the online sessions, I hadn’t conducted a RT session yet.
A paypig / submissive that I had regularly had contact with through my short time as a Findomme, whom I’d also befriended if you will, offered his servitude to me as test pig so early September I travelled up to Peterborough to conduct a 2 hour session in a well equipped studio, where I tested out CP, CBT, SPH and basic bondage amongst a few of my other interests and I was positively buzzing, I felt electric. The surge of power I felt having this weak, naked, pathetic man bound and spread in front of me, to do with exactly as I please. Every time he whimpered or pleaded the word “Mistress” I felt alive, a fuzzy feeling resonating from the base of my skull.
I have found it, my place in this world, BDSM is my home, this lifestyle was my meaning. Since then I've been in session every few weeks and every time I feel blessed to finally be doing something that has meaning and enjoyment for me.
2015 has held some lows for me, but mostly highs with 2016 looking very promising. I can be a little impatient and impulsive at times but this path means so much to me that I understand it does not occur overnight, it takes time to build and requires time to be invested. I’m in this for the long term, I want to be professional, I will be recognisable, I will be elite. Stay tuned.
Happy New Year Subs, Slaves, Sluts, Sissy’s & Whores – Everyone!
Mistress Tess K