The Importance of Being Earnest

The Importance of Being Earnest

Communications & Information

I wanted to write a blog post about the importance of information giving and communication with your Mistress.

I have a detailed contact / apply page on my website for a reason, I want to know those details about you, understand your journey, establish your limits. Your application should read clear, detailed and concise.

You can learn a lot of me as your Mistress from my website, from my blog and from social media. I expect in return, out of respect for my attention to detail, for you to take time in your application and provide all the relevant details.

Failure to provide a completed application is taken as lack of consideration, effort and respect and will ultimately mean you are ignored. Providing false information on an application demonstrates a lack of trust and understanding. I operate with discretion as any professional should and true BDSM is based on trust and understanding. If you cannot trust me with your real mobile number or age then how is that for a start… Epic Fail.

I don’t like to use safe words, before applying to session with me you would of read this about my approach in the information given on my website. I prefer a more connected approach of identifying your boundaries by reading you. Reading your tone and body language but I also couple that with the expectation you’ve been explicitly clear and honest in the information given on the application.

If you overestimate your pain threshold or exaggerate your experience it can lead to you feeling the need to use a safe word during our session, to which will most likely lead to me terminating the session and probable refusal to session with you again.


A particular application fail I keep seeing is the exclusion of a reference of a previous mistress served when they’ve clearly stated about previous experience on a professional level. I ask for this particular piece of information for numerous reasons, there’s my safety and there’s also sometimes opportunity for your level of experience to be certified by the domme’s you have previously been in session with as each domina is unique and some have particular honed skills for say CBT and others Judicial CP.

If your application has satisfied my expectations (and my appetite of course) you will hear from me within 1 week. Past this, as per my website states, you aren’t of interest and need not re-apply. I do not respond to repeat applications either.

After I have received your deposit and confirmed your session is booked on the agreed date and time, I do still expect to hear from you a short period prior to the date out of courtesy to confirm any final details.

Communication is the key guys!


Mistress Tess x